Sunday, January 16, 2011

A real man

This is a photo of me with my Daddy---a "real man".
What is a real man? Some would argue that going through puberty makes one a real man. So perhaps the question should be, what makes one an honorable man? Here are a few ideas:

Support your family with an honest job---even if it is minimum wage, at least it is an income. It makes more than sitting at home playing video games or drinking in the bar all day.

Put aside your selfish desires to care for others in your family. Put yourself and your wants AFTER those you should be responsible for.

When someone else is sick or in pain in your family, don't try to get everyone's attention by feeling sorry for yourself. THINK about the OTHER PERSON and what they are going through, and try to minister to THEIR needs.

Actively participate in the lives of your spouse and children. Don't ignore the kids until they are old enough to be your drinking or hunting buddies (by the time they are that age, if you haven't involved yourselves in their lives, they are not going to want to have anything to do with you), but take time to enjoy them NOW while you have the chance. Don't let them fall by the wayside and harbor resentment because Dad was never there for them. Also if you don't involve yourself with your wife except for making sure that she takes care of your own needs, your wife will learn to take care of everything herself. She will build up emotional walls, because deep down she needs her husband but knows he won't be there for her. She will one day realize that she doesn't need you and even if she never verbalizes it, she will realize you are just dead weight, and she would be better off without you.

Don't be lazy at home. What wife wants to be the mother, father, breadwinner, maid, cook, gardener, mechanic, maintenance person, and executive decision maker? It's too much for one person to carry their whole lives. Step up and take responsibility.

Don't squander all the money drinking, gambling, eating out, or whatever else you really like to do. Make sure that your family comes first. Pay your bills, buy groceries, fill your vehicles with gas, set some aside for other needs and emergencies, before blowing any money. A little blow money is good, but take care of your family FIRST.

Be the spiritual leader in your home. Lead your family and set a good example for them. If you lead them honorably, they will follow your example.

My father is a shining example of an honorable man. My husband also does his best to follow in honorable footsteps. With the examples he has had, I believe my son will grow up to be an honorable man. I have known many men who were honorable, but I also know some who are a disgrace to their families and it breaks my heart to see the wives and children grow up with a man who chooses to be inactive in their lives, even if he is living right there with them. I am so thankful for the honorable men in my life.

1 comment:

  1. Your Daddy is a good man...we all love him dearly! It is so sad that many do grow up with the father who is there but emotionally absent and irresponsible. Thankfully, we've got a Heavenly Father who gives us the ultimate example of what a father should be. We can just do our best to point those "fatherless" children to the Heavenly Father and pray that they use Him as an example in their own parenting. :) Love you sorry you have to go through all this pain... Tell Cathy we love her today!